HOGGING THE LEGOS
Boy 1: “Mooooooom! He just kicked me in the leg!”
Me: “Are you bleeding?”
Boy 1: “No.”
Me: “Send your brother in here so I can talk to him.”
Other brother begrudgingly appears.
Me: “Why did you kick your brother?”
Boy 2: “He pushed me off the chair first!”
Me to Boy 1: “Is this true?”
Boy 1: “He was trying to steal my Legos! He started it.”
Boy 2: “He’s hogging the Legos and never lets me play with them!”
And on and on and on… until finally:
Me: “I want you two to look each other in the eye, say ‘I’m sorry’ and then other say ‘I forgive you.’”
They hate that part, but it usually settles the argument and life goes on as before. Even if they don’t mean it, the mere words “I forgive you” end the dispute.
I cannot count the number of similar conversations I have daily like this. The beautiful part is that childhood disputes *usually* are that simple. A fight, some words are tossed, an apology, and back to playing like normal.
I don’t know when adulthood-sized arguments start to work their way into life. The drama is amped up, the injuries more severe, the grudges held longer, the wounds are deepened, and the reconciling conversations are held off for days, months, years… if ever at all. Maybe it’s the absence of a grand ‘mom’ figure in the picture to put us back in line. Or maybe in our maturity we toss off the need to be held accountable to a ‘higher power’ like mom who would normally step in. Maybe we grow more stubborn in our ways and master the art of revenge and quiet stewing.
But I do know forgiveness still isn’t an option. As adults, we are accountable to Christ who commands us, “Forgive as you are forgiven.” It’s a serious offense.
I, Leah, in all my detestable ways of sinning and turning away from God… have been FORGIVEN. No drama, no grudge, no revenge. No stewing in the corner or years of silence. Freely offered by a loving God.
Wounds run deep but, I believe in the restorative power and grace of God—for even the deepest wounds and most egregious offenses. Just say it. “I forgive you.” Even if you don’t mean it. Say it again. “I forgive you.” Every time you are reminded of the hurt. “I forgive you” again and again and again until it becomes easier. 1x, 7x, 70×7 times….
Leah Carolan
Director of Worship & Media
