JUNE 2020
To Listen is to Love
Several weeks ago I was in a room with 4 other people. We were all waiting on something so we were standing around. What struck me was that each person wanted to speak, but not listen. Each of them cut into the conversation before the other was finished speaking. None of them were interested in listening to the other person or asking questions about the other person’s story. Each person was more concerned about establishing their identity than about being a generous listener.
Generosity can be carried out through Finances, Influence, Skills, or Time (F.I.S.T. model) –time being the most precious of them all. Listening, truly hearing someone, is one way to steward God’s resources well. Like all generous acts, listening is a choice.
I used to hate baby showers. The events felt like a waste of my time. I hated the small talk and the silly games. I would have preferred to take the mother-to-be out for a coffee and give her a gift while we had meaningful conversation. Even though I love to celebrate, baby showers felt so forced.
Thankfully God has changed my heart on this matter. I moved into realizing that spending my time listening to someone, even at a baby shower, can be a generous act. I’ve learned to appreciate where God has placed me (physically) each day, because I can take joy in being generous with those around me.
Listening is a key tool for loving someone well. Having good health, a big house, a college degree, or dozens of friends is not required for you to do listening well. Listening requires almost nothing, except your most precious resource–time.
Most nights my husband listens as I share what’s on my heart. He listens with compassion and asks questions. I feel loved by this generous act.
As a child, my grandparents and great-grandparents listened to me with abandon, as if they had hours on end to give. I could share every whim and fancy knowing they would take an interest in what I had to say. It made me feel known and loved, in a society that doesn’t value children or their caretakers.
Alan Crandall is one of the best listener I know. If someone starts a conversation with him, he will give them his full attention and make them feel welcomed to share their heart. This is a treasure to find in a world that is short on time and long on self-focus.
You are doing God’s work when you spend time listening. To listen is to love.
Lindsey Ungs
Connection & Communication Architect
