Tag Archives: Authenticity

Cedar Blog

Do You Use the Guardrails?

Do You Use the Guardrails?

Recently my friend shared about the book “Boundaries” in the Parenting Together Sunday School class. This led to a new understanding of many areas of life that boundaries can be applied. Some of those areas include time, words, truth, love, values, limits, resources and gifts, feelings, attitudes and beliefs, behavior, desires, and choices.

One of the biggest realizations for me is that I’m a boundary mover. I fall into the ditch of frequently adjusting my boundaries. Constantly, I’m evaluating: “Is this where my boundary should be or should I move it for a specific purpose?”

For example, the other day someone needed dozens of rides to and from their home, throughout the week, because they could no longer drive. My week was already full plus I had meetings all five nights that week. My boundary is typically only three evening events per week in order to preserve the health of our family.

In the moment, I wondered was God asking me to step up and toss one of my boundaries aside for this need? The answer for this specific situation seemed to be “no.” I needed to let others step up and care for this person.

How do you handle boundaries in your life? Are they movable? What if the Holy Spirit calls you to move beyond your comfort zone? Or, do you need to add some boundaries in your life? Do you have any boundaries in place at all? Maybe you need to put some guardrails up in certain aspects of your life in order to prioritize what matters.

I find that I fall into the ditch of constantly moving the boundary lines in my life. Others fall into the ditch of setting up boundaries and never evaluating them again.

While it is good to be open to the Holy Spirit stirring in our heart, most of the time sticking to a boundary can be helpful.

Lindsey Ungs
Connection & Communication Architect

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    Cedar Blog

    Friendly Prayer

    Friendly Prayer

    I get a kick out of kids’ simple, sometimes funny prayers. Prayers like these:

    • “Dear God, if You can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it. I’m having a real good time like I am!”
    • “Dear God, thank You for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy.”
    • “Dear God, it must be super hard to love all the people in the world, especially my sister. I don’t know how You do it.”

    These prayers open us up to unexpected thoughts and truths and usually help us see God in a new way. They help us connect with God and isn’t that one of the main reasons we pray?

    • “Dear God, please take care of my daddy, mommy, sister, brother, my doggy, and me. Oh, please take care of Yourself, God. If anything happens to You, we’re gonna be in a big mess.”

    I used to think prayers had to be proper. Self-important. Maybe even a bit pompous. We, after all, should approach God carefully. Right?

    Now I think the most important thing is to come to God just as we are. Sometimes we come with big, bold, important prayers. Sometimes we just come with a friendly prayer to tell God what is on our mind. Like a kid.

    • “Dear God, I don’t think anybody could be a better God. Well, I just want you to know that I am not just saying that because You are God already.”

    Keep praying.

    Kent

    Kent Landhuis
    Pastor of Teaching & Leadership

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      July 2022

      Where Is the Battle?

      Where Is the Battle?

      We live in days of deep divides. Right and Left. Democrat, Republican. Conservative, Progressive. Pro-choice, Pro-life. Gun Control, Gun Rights. Enemies, Allies. Us, Them. We often talk about our divisions with “war” language. We are in a battle.

      But where is the battle?

      All of us who use social media are fed divisiveness by algorithms that stream battle cries. Or maybe I should say, scream battle cries. Basically, we get yelled at all day every day about our enemies. This is exhausting and counterproductive.

      Yelling to create outrage has the same effect as repeatedly crying wolf. To stoke a response the yelling must intensify or we stop paying attention. Constantly yelling at tired people is not a great strategy. Yelling is a bad strategy for another reason – it creates greater division. The tone we take toward our enemies might determine our success in turning them into allies.

      We are the kind of people who seek peace, reconciliation, and restoration. Our goal is not to deepen the divide but to build a bridge. Or course our actions alone do not guarantee the outcome – we rely on the Holy Spirit for that. We are simply called to love God and love our neighbor.

      Holy Spirit reliance is key for another reason. The Bible tells us where the battle lies:  “For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).

      We engage in the battle to defeat the enemy of our soul and rescue our neighbors. We fight the battle to restore peace. We fight to make the world better for everyone!

      I am thrilled to join you in this battle!

       

      Kent Landhuis
      Pastor of Teaching & Leadership

      P.S. I recently read a very helpful essay by John Goerke entitled “How Should We Fight the Culture War?” His words challenged me: “Should we relish too much the false glory of finding what is wrong with the world, we may blind ourselves and our opponents  to what is actually right with it.” To read his essay: click here. 

      Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Kent know.

        July 2022

        Calling All Enneagram 7’s

        Calling All Enneagram 7’s

        One of the places I struggle the most with authenticity is being authentic with myself. I’m a 7 on the Enneagram personality test.

        When I am at my best the test says I can “assimilate experiences in depth, becoming deeply grateful and appreciative for what I have. Become awed by the simple wonders of life: joyous and ecstatic. Intimations of spiritual reality, of the boundless goodness of life.”

        However, when I am unhealthy I can “Get into conspicuous consumption and all forms of excess. Self-centered, materialistic, and greedy, never feeling that I have enough. Demanding and pushy, yet unsatisfied and jaded. Addictive, hardened, and insensitive.”

        That explains a lot.

        Or worse yet I can be “Desperate to quell my anxieties, can be impulsive and infantile: do not know when to stop. Addictions and excess take their toll: debauched, depraved, dissipated escapists, offensive and abusive.”

        I’ve noticed how easy it is for me to fool myself about how I’m doing mentally, physically, and spiritually.

        The place I am most authentic is in my journal. I write most days of the week. It’s the first thing I turn to in the morning before my kids get up. Somehow this process of journaling allows me to suspend judgement for a bit while I pour my heart out. Then, I’m better able to get a true look at what’s going on in my heart. As an external processor it’s really the only way I can process my feelings without the help of another person. Although, my friends and spouse help me work through my heart issues often.

        Back to the authentic part. If I’m not processing what’s really going on in my heart, I can easily trick myself into thinking that all is well even when it is not.

        Do you ever do this? Do you ever lie to yourself about the state of things?

        If you’re interested in learning more about your personality, you can take a free enneagram test: click here.

        If you’re looking to get to the bottom of things, buy a journal and use it as a way to be honest with yourself and God.

        Lindsey Ungs
        Connection & Communication Architect

        Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Lindsey know.

          June 2022

          What’s Next?

          What’s Next?

          The Reformed Church in America (RCA) has been a spiritual home for me for almost 60 years. A few weeks after I arrived in the world, I was baptized into the First Reformed Church, an RCA congregation in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. For almost six decades I never imagined leaving the RCA. Until now.

          A few weeks ago a friend of mine shared these words of Jesus, “No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. Otherwise, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins” (Mark 2:21-22).

          We then discussed the ways God works. God sometimes repairs the old. God remodels and revives and remakes. God restores broken things. And sometimes God restores by doing a brand new thing. God makes something out of nothing. God brings new creation. God breathes a fresh wind.

          Honestly, I tried for a long time to avoid the question, “What’s next for Cedar Hills and the RCA?” But, following the Vision 2020 report last fall, the RCA called the question. Every church was called to discern. And so we’ve been discerning and the more time we’ve invested, the clearer it seems to us that God wants to do a new thing.

          For years the RCA has tried to sew new cloth on an old garment and it appears that the tear this created is getting worse. I believe that now is the time to pour new wine into a new wineskin for the sake of the kingdom. By doing this we will see even greater faithfulness and fruitfulness.

          This is my hope and my prayer.

          Kent Landhuis
          Pastor of Teaching & Leadership

          Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Kent know.

            June 2022

            Easter Worship Then and Now

            Easter Worship Then and Now

            Easter of 2020 was difficult for many all over the world. The church building was empty and the actual church (the people) were fumbling around trying figure out how to share fellowship and encouragement while not being together in person.

            Those of us who are leaders in the church found ourselves in the church building, standing on a platform speaking to empty chairs and a video camera. Without a congregation to speak to face to face, it was a challenge to believe that anything we shared on the platform mattered.

            Easter of 2020 found us as a church staff reeling from the changes in the way we gathered and sharing a simple meal of ham, rolls, and deviled eggs in the gathering space.  It was a far cry from Easter of 2019 and involved much lamenting on my part.

            The people (paid and unpaid) that showed up on in those first weeks and months became linked in our efforts to continue to share the Good News despite having to navigate constant changes.

            Thankfully Pastor Kent had hope and developed a plan with the consistory. Thanks to the leadership of this church body, we were able to function with a core group of courageous ministry leaders and volunteers to make it to August of 2020, also known as The Derecho.

            As bad as the Derecho was, it also was a time of people remembering that people matter. It was as if people came out of their own homes and remembered that other people existed and had needs as well.

            It was as if our whole city took a breath and then used the strength from that breath to chop wood and patch roofs.  It was a beautiful group of people that came together to serve the church body and the community at large. This was a new level of fellowship we hadn’t seen since March.

            Then, in fall of 2021 we saw a whole new wave of those interested in meeting together as a body of Christ. This was a new level of fellowship and was certainly encouraging to me. New faces started to walk through the doors of our church building. Others decided to become members. People who hadn’t been around in a year and a half decided that being together in person was worth the risk.

            And that brings me to Easter Sunday 2022. As I looked around on Easter, it brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful sight to behold! The worship space was filled and some services were better attended than Easter of 2019. What a joy to see the restoration God has brought to our local church body two years later.

            Lindsey Ungs
            Connection & Communication Architect

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              June 2022

              Renewing Our Minds

              Renewing Our Minds

              This past week as I was reading our weekly memory verses for our 100 verse challenge, I discovered a familiar favorite that has meant a lot in my journey of restoration. God has renewed my mind over time as I have followed Him.

               “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” ~ Romans 12:1-2

              To me this is one snapshot of what Christian living looks like. It is me. It is you. It is us together, offering ourselves body and mind to God. Our lives become a living offering. Our actions every day take on a new meaning, as they become our offering to please God by obeying Him. In Romans 12:1-2, I have discovered this purpose and identity that is more important than myself, and my own wants and needs. As verse one gives us the why, I think verse two helps us understand how we act as living sacrifices. We are transformed! God transforms us by renewing our minds.  As we pursue God’s good will instead of being tossed about by our own whims and feelings, God makes our thoughts more like His! Wow! This is an amazing truth, which the creator God of the universe, who came and died on the cross to redeem us from sin and death, now wants to transform us into His image. He wants us to be His body here on earth as we live sacrificially. What a great privilege and honor! However this is not an easy call. We are to shun the ways of the world. We should not be consumed with worldly pursuits of money, recognition, fame, sexual gratification as is the world around us. My heart breaks to know that statistics say there is very little difference between those in the American Church and the world.  If we are honest we have mostly failed this Romans 12:1-2 challenge. So this month I was inspired by our Ephesians series, and Romans 12, to think about what Kent said, “welcome is our language and transformation is our vocabulary.” How have my thoughts, my mind, been transformed to be more like God’s? What actions can I do to be more transformed, to be a better living sacrifice?

              I challenge you to spend more time with God! It never fails in my life. The more time I spend with God the more I think like Him. I start to see the temptations of the world as fleeting and false. I find I have more love, joy, peace, patience, and self-control. So, the nearer we draw to the goodness of His light the more we reflect that goodness to those around us. The great truth of Christian restoration and transformation is that it is not accomplished by our own strength or power, but through more surrender to God’s awesome power and love in our lives.

              Steve Poole
              Director of Youth & Young Adults

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                April 2022

                Am I Living Authentic?

                Am I Living Authentic?

                Authenticity. It seems like a loaded word. What does it mean? Am I living authentic? If I’m not, how do I? If you are like me your head just keeps spinning with those questions.

                Growing up I was always told to treat others as I wished to be treated, be truthful, be a good person, do my best, try hard, work hard, etc. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I really started to take those statements and put them in to action.

                Living authentically seemed very out of reach to me just a few years ago. I thought I had to live up to certain expectations; not disappoint anyone; apologize for things that were out of my control; don’t say too much because you might hurt someone’s feelings; please everyone I possibly could and the list would go on.

                It wasn’t until after going through a tough divorce, hitting rock bottom, and meeting my current husband that I really started to live more authentically. I started to realize I was loved for exactly who I was. I didn’t have to put on a brave face for anyone. It has been a tough switch in my life to live more authentically, but one that is so much easier. I’ve learned that I don’t have to hide behind someone that I’m not. In a recent book I read by Amy Carroll and Cheri Gregory, they said: “The difficulty of hiding your gifts behind a façade to fit in feels less scary than authenticity.” (from the book Exhale: Lose Who You’re Not, Love Who You Are, Live Your One Life Well). I’ve learned that people need the gifts that I have and the love that I have, just the way I am.

                Where do you start to live authentically? How do you know what to do first? I started my whole goal with just me and God. I started journaling and speaking with God about who I was and where I wanted to go, started reading my Bible and going to church more regularly. I started making daily changes, small changes, like washing my face every day. Then moving on to picking up toys at the end of the day. Then reading each night for 20-30 minutes and I just continued to work on myself. I was still a busy mom and working full-time, but I started to make small changes for myself and my family. That start date was almost six years ago and I still mess up. I have bad days, where I get nothing done and I struggle to even say a word to God. Remember to give yourself grace. I’m thankful to be a child of God who forgives me when I confess my sins and I get to start each new day with a clean slate and the ability to make it a better day than the day before. Go out and live authentically and start today!

                Bridgette Hintermeister
                Member of Cedar Hills Community Church

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                  April 2022

                  I’m Tired

                  I’m Tired

                  I’m tired.  Can I say that? Like, overly tired.

                  Part of it is being a new mom. You know—all the stuff of new babies—middle of the night waking, extra prep work of bottles and diapers and pumps and diaper bags and enough supplies to get through each day and still showing up. Part of it is just being back at work full-time and juggling life as a mom of four little ones who haven’t entered fully into self-dependence and still need me to assist with their everyday needs.

                  I’m proud to say my 4-year-old can make his own instant oatmeal now, so there’s relief in sight.

                  Another part is my desire to be in the Word more and more each day. And because the days have gotten so full taking care of everyone else, the only time of the day I can really find quiet and peace is 3:30-5:30am. So that’s my Word-reading timeslot.

                  If you’re a night owl, or any normal person I guess, I might have just made you think, “Wait—what??” Because no sane person wakes up that early. I get it. It’s cringe-worthy just thinking about it. But my hunger to know God supersedes my need for sleep. I want to know Him! I want to hear Him! I want to break through in so many ways I’ve lost track!

                  A woman asked recently of a preacher in a live Facebook feed, “I’ve been reading my Bible, but I still can’t hear God.” The pastor replied, “Keep reading.” The woman responded, “No, I mean, like I want to hear His audible voice.” And the pastor replied, “Keep reading!”

                  Keep reading.

                  The first time I went through The Bible Recap “read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year” plan, I felt like I fumbled my way through because the Bible was still somewhat foreign to me. The second time, it was much easier, but I felt also that I was getting new revelation on passages that seemed old or mundane. Now I’m on course to finish it a third tdime at the end of April, and hopefully again in August and again in December. Each read through gets more fascinating, the characters and kings and prophets a little more understandable, and God speaks a little more.

                  Keep reading.

                  Is this the only way? Does full devotion to God really take this much time and investment?  Do you have to be slightly crazy to pursue God at this velocity?

                  Sometimes the internal battle asks this question. I’ve given up some of my favorite things to maintain such a rigorous schedule.

                  When I read the Gospels, I see Jesus asking the big questions and the big commits. “Are you willing to give up everything and follow me?”

                  Up until this point in life, I really haven’t given up anything where I really felt the hit.  Like… really felt it. Jesus just sort of fit into my schedule. I was probably a Pharisee—a religious imposter.

                  Keep reading.

                  May God fill you also with a great hunger for His Word!

                  Leah Carolan
                  Director of Worship & Media

                   

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                    April 2022

                    Own Your Own Sh**

                    Own Your Own Sh**

                    Small group ground rule #1 – own your own stuff. That is the Sunday way to say it. The small group way is – own your own sh**. (And don’t act surprised because I know people talk this way Monday – Saturday.) We hope for authenticity in groups and we get there by talking honestly about ourselves, not about others.

                    Our small group is using the Lent videos to explore the Fruit of the Spirit right now. The topic of week 2 was self-control. An amazing thing happened in our group as we dug in. Everyone came clean about their lack of self-control. One after another we put our stuff on the table. It was marvelous.

                    Then everyone shared something else. We all fear rejection when admitting our own stuff. If people really know the real us, will they still accept us? Will they still love us? This fear often keeps us from being real about our sh**. This kind of authenticity was even more marvelous.

                    As we all came clean about our need for greater self-control, our group discovered that we loved each other more. Our group members expressed deep gratitude for the openness of the others. We shared words of support and encouragement. We connected in deeper ways. We grew in love.

                    I recommend that everyone belongs to a group where you can own your own sh** and be loved for it! It is a marvelous thing.

                    Kent Landhuis
                    Pastor of Teaching & Leadership

                    Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Kent know.