Cedar Chips

Hogging the Legos

HOGGING THE LEGOS

Boy 1: “Mooooooom! He just kicked me in the leg!”

Me: “Are you bleeding?”

Boy 1: “No.”

Me: “Send your brother in here so I can talk to him.”

Other brother begrudgingly appears.

Me: “Why did you kick your brother?”

Boy 2: “He pushed me off the chair first!”

Me to Boy 1: “Is this true?”

Boy 1: “He was trying to steal my Legos! He started it.”

Boy 2: “He’s hogging the Legos and never lets me play with them!”

And on and on and on… until finally:

Me: “I want you two to look each other in the eye, say ‘I’m sorry’ and then other say ‘I forgive you.’”

They hate that part, but it usually settles the argument and life goes on as before. Even if they don’t mean it, the mere words “I forgive you” end the dispute.

I cannot count the number of similar conversations I have daily like this. The beautiful part is that childhood disputes *usually* are that simple. A fight, some words are tossed, an apology, and back to playing like normal.

I don’t know when adulthood-sized arguments start to work their way into life. The drama is amped up, the injuries more severe, the grudges held longer, the wounds are deepened, and the reconciling conversations are held off for days, months, years… if ever at all. Maybe it’s the absence of a grand ‘mom’ figure in the picture to put us back in line. Or maybe in our maturity we toss off the need to be held accountable to a ‘higher power’ like mom who would normally step in. Maybe we grow more stubborn in our ways and master the art of revenge and quiet stewing.

But I do know forgiveness still isn’t an option. As adults, we are accountable to Christ who commands us, “Forgive as you are forgiven.” It’s a serious offense.

I, Leah, in all my detestable ways of sinning and turning away from God… have been FORGIVEN.  No drama, no grudge, no revenge. No stewing in the corner or years of silence.  Freely offered by a loving God.

Wounds run deep but, I believe in the restorative power and grace of God—for even the deepest wounds and most egregious offenses.  Just say it. “I forgive you.” Even if you don’t mean it. Say it again. “I forgive you.” Every time you are reminded of the hurt. “I forgive you” again and again and again until it becomes easier.  1x, 7x, 70×7 times….

Leah Carolan
Director of Worship & Media

 

Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry, or learn something new?  Let Leah know.

    Cedar Chips

    Forgiveness Through Jesus’ Work

    Forgiveness Through Jesus’ Work

    In high school I spent many hours late into the night with my good friends Drew and David. We had fun getting into and escaping trouble together. Sometimes Drew drove the getaway car, other times I did. David hardly ever drove. Because we spent so much time together, my parents considered them brothers of mine.

    In college it continued and we started venturing into the world. I met Lindsey and Drew seemed happy for me but I know he was wanting to find his special lady, too. When I asked Lindsey to marry me, she tasked me with finding six groomsmen! David accepted the best man role, but I didn’t hear back from Drew. As the wedding drew near, he declined stating that he wouldn’t be able to make it. It hurt, but we were wrapped up in plans and I had to find another friend to stand in.

    Later in life he revealed to me he’d become addicted to heavy drug use and didn’t want to pay for the tux. Now he was in a 12-step rehab program, confessing much worse offenses than this. The best part however was he had found Jesus! I was so glad to hear this and was happy to forgive him. At that point I had recently come back to my faith. If I hadn’t known forgiveness through Jesus’ work, I may have “forgiven” him out loud, but perhaps not truly “in my heart.” He’s since gotten married and we were able to attend and send him off to California a few years back.

    Karl Ungs
    Leader of Parenting Together

     

    Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Lindsey know.

      Uncategorized

      When Tired, Take a Nap

      When Tired, Take a Nap

      I’m wired for self-critique, judgment, and condemnation. I’m not sure why, but I am hard on myself. One evidence of this is a denial of my need for rest. The tape playing in my head tells me, ” can keep going, push a little more, don’t quit yet.”

      If you phone me early in the morning, rouse me from a deep sleep, and then ask, “Did I wake you?” My knee-jerk reaction would be, “No, I’m awake.” Ditto if you catch me napping. Just resting my eyes.

      Truth is, I get tired. Sometimes very tired. And that makes me normal. One of my favorite verses in the last couple of exhausting years has been Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

      I’ve been seeking rest recently from the burden of self-condemnation. We are the kind of people who believe in forgiveness. The most difficult person to forgive can be ourselves.

      We are also the kind of people called to love our neighbors as ourselves. My mentor Ray always reminded me that we can not love our neighbors boldly until we love ourselves properly. Proper self-love is free from self-condemnation and shame.

      The path to forgiveness for many of us begins with recognizing that we are far more loved – even in our brokenness – than we ever realized. We are forgiven. If God forgives us then we should feel free to forgive ourselves and that should lighten our burden.

      So, when tired, take a nap.

      Kent Landhuis
      Pastor of Teaching & Leadership

      Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Kent know.

        Small Groups, Women's Ministry

        Zamboni

        ****Update: This group meets Thursdays at noon at Newbo City Market.****

        Zamboni is a group for women to discuss work and faith over a relaxed lunch hour.  We meet at the Newbo City Market, but this location may change down the road.  The goal is to stay near the downtown area as a central location for everyone.

        This group is open to all women! Come and go as your lunch hour and work plans allow.  Contact Lindsey Ungs using the form below for more information or any questions.

        Contact Lindsey

          Funeral

          Mal Gould Funeral

          Mal Gould Funeral

          Funeral & Visitation

          The visitation and funeral for Mal Gould will be Friday, Sept. 17.  The visitation will be at 3:30pm, with the funeral starting at 4:30pm.  The service will also be broadcast on Facebook on our live stream page: http://www.facebook.com/cedarhillscommunitychurch/live starting just a few minutes prior to the service.

          The family is asking for face masks to be required of all in attendance.

          Obituary

          Malverin “Mal” Gould, 81, of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, passed away peacefully at the Heritage Specialty Care Center on Monday, August 30, 2021.

          Mal was born March 19, 1940, in Ottawa, Kansas to Glenn and Osa Gould. He was a proud Air Force veteran and served from 1958-1962, where he was a B-47 Bomber Jet engine tester.

          Upon his return from the Air Force, Mal married his former wife Joan Spitzer, and together they had their son Jon and daughter Kelly. Mal then worked at Moore Business Forms until 1975, when he started his own print shop called Kalona Graphic.

          In 1979 Mal met the love of his life and future wife, Lila. They were joined in marriage on January 5, 1980. Together Mal and Lila loved traveling and spent many years moving around the U.S., making homes in Florida, New Mexico, Michigan, and many other states.

          In their later years, Mal and Lila settled in Iowa where Mal spent 12 years working at Hy-Vee Drugstore. Mal loved chatting with his coworkers and customers, and they all became a second family to him.

          Besides his time at Hy-Vee, Mal loved woodworking and carving, taking care of his backyard birds, and reading books. He was a loyal Chicago Cubs fan and a proud member of Cedar Hills Community Church.

          Mal is survived by his loving wife of 41 years, Lila; his son, Jon (Brenda) Gould and his daughter, Kelly (Michelle) Gould; stepsons Gary (Rita) Yoder, Randy Yoder, and Larry Yoder; his brother Jim Gould; as well as 13 grandchildren, 13 great-grandchildren, and many cousins.

          Mal was preceded in death by his parents and mother-in-law Ada Mitchell; four brothers-in-law, Dellis Schrock, Leroy Schrock, Percy   Austin, and Bill Cannon; and his daughter-in-law Julie Yoder.

          Mal’s final resting place will be in the Serenity Gardens at Cedar Memorial. The family would like to thank the wonderful nurses and doctors at Mercy Hospital as well as the staff at Heritage.

          Uncategorized

          Bloomsbury Farm Event

          FAITH, FAMILY & FUN – We’re headed to Bloomsbury Farm at 2pm on Sunday, October 17 for fall activities and fun.  The entire church body is invited. Our discount group rate is $10/person.

          Kathryn Pisch is overseeing the tickets. Look for her at Bloomsbury – bring cash or check payable to the church (and then the church pays one fee at the end).  She will be available starting around 1:30pm. Ages 2 and under are free.

          Marriage and Family, News

          *New* Moms Community

          MOMS COMMUNITY

          Moms! Bring your coffee and meet other moms for great conversation, encouragement and discussions of faith and mommin’. Thursdays, starting Sept. 16, 9:30am-11. Childcare provided! If you have a kiddo in Noah’s Ark Preschool this works around their schedule!

          If you have any questions, contact Lindsey Ungs using the form below.

          Contact Lindsey

            Cedar Chips, September 2021 Chips

            Authenticity Precipitates Sanctification

            Authenticity Precipitates Sanctification

            Once a week my family meets with three other families in someone’s home. We all eat and catch up and tell jokes. After dinner the kids loudly play in the basement while the adults circle around to discuss life and faith. We have a chosen curriculum we are following, though that will change with the seasons. It’s in this small group that we wrestle with how to live out our faith given life’s circumstances. We all face challenges on a weekly basis that make us wonder how to walk by faith as we move towards the chaos. Together we discuss how to accomplish this.

            Each of us is at a different place in our faith journey. Some of us are mature believers. Others are brand new to their faith. It’s in these conversations (and prayers) that we are crafting the next steps: What to do at work or with a family member, how to approach someone with a loving attitude, and how to live with both truth and grace.

            It’s in these conversations that we slowly learn to trust each other. Here as the trust is built, the conversation becomes more vulnerable. It’s because of this authenticity that heart matters are shared and believers can encourage and give guidance in the things that really matter. Authenticity is the pathway that allows the sanctification process to move forward. The process of moving towards holiness is our desire. Living life in authentic community is the way to live out the gospel.

            Lindsey Ungs
            Connection & Communication Architect

            Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Lindsey know.

              Cedar Chips, September 2021 Chips

              A True Soul-Friend

              A True Soul-Friend

              Authenticity is at the heart of our current teaching series, LIFE TOGETHER. I want to share with you a story from The Walk by Michael Card. Michael had been going through a difficult time having recently broken up with his girlfriend. One Monday morning, Michael’s mentor, Bill invites him out for breakfast. After they are seated Bill makes a bold but loving statement:

              “I’m worried about you, Michael. This is perhaps the third young woman you have dated since we’ve known each other and now you’re breaking up again. I’m concerned about your ability to sustain a relationship.”

              Wow! That is being authentic about your concerns for a friend. Also, being bold enough to say it, even if you know they might have difficulty receiving such truth. Michael goes on to explain that out of his own immaturity he responded:

              “How can you say that to me! After all, you are divorced. At least I never did that!”

              Ouch! Burn! Michael shares this story in his book so that we could all see Bill’s response:

              Bill grew quiet. He had risked genuinely loving me and, like so many others, I had hurt him for it. “Worked at that relationship as hard as I could for as long as I could.” He said, almost in tears, and there the discussion ended. Anyone else would have decided, at this point, that walking with someone like me was not worth the trouble. Not Bill. As best I remember, he never brought up the subject again. A few months before his death, I recalled the incident and asked for his forgiveness. It was obvious from his response that he had forgiven me long ago, although I could tell he still remembered the sting of it. All that remained, he said, was for me to forgive myself.

              Authenticity opens us all up to pain. The pain we experience when someone lashes out at us, reminding us of our biggest regrets or mistakes or when someone weaponizes our honesty against us as Michael did. The hurt we experience when someone breaks our trust. However, real, deep and lasting relationships are built on authentically sharing our lives with each other. I hope you are as encouraged and challenged as I am by this story. Michael Card ends the chapter by saying:

              A true soul-friend is willing to endure the inevitable pain that is caused by being in a relationship with another human being. “We are fragile and fallen people,” Bill would say. “Often we hurt each other.”

              Who are those people in your life who know you authentically and can speak the truth in love to you the way Bill did?  Who in your life needs you to be their “Bill”?

              Steve Poole
              Director of Youth & Young Adults

              What did you think of this article? Let us know.

                Cedar Chips

                Be Real

                Be Real

                One of the speakers at this year’s Global Leadership Summit started his talk by asking, “Can I just be real with you?” I’d never heard of this person before but I was immediately intrigued.

                Shola Richards then explained that many of his good ideas came from his mother. She taught him, “There are two kinds of people in the world, those who you feel good about when they walk into the room; and those who you feel good about when they walk out of the room.”

                Shola went on to teach, in simple terms, about civility which couldn’t be a more timely subject to explore. He challenged us to leave a legacy of civility and respect by valuing the people around us. Value the ideas, the roles, the time, the skills and the humanity of people. Be real, let others be real, and be curious.

                I wanted to shout “Amen” in the middle of Shola’s lecture. We are the kind of people who are real and who respect others. Life together requires civility. There is no way to get civility without spending time together.

                We will practice being real and being civil this fall with a church wide study. This is an opportunity for you to experience life together. If you are not yet part of a small group, click here.  We will feel good when you walk into the room!!

                Be real,

                Kent Landhuis
                Pastor of Teaching & Leadership

                Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Kent know.

                  Love. Belong. Serve.