All posts by Cedar Hills Community Church

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Hogging the Legos

HOGGING THE LEGOS

Boy 1: “Mooooooom! He just kicked me in the leg!”

Me: “Are you bleeding?”

Boy 1: “No.”

Me: “Send your brother in here so I can talk to him.”

Other brother begrudgingly appears.

Me: “Why did you kick your brother?”

Boy 2: “He pushed me off the chair first!”

Me to Boy 1: “Is this true?”

Boy 1: “He was trying to steal my Legos! He started it.”

Boy 2: “He’s hogging the Legos and never lets me play with them!”

And on and on and on… until finally:

Me: “I want you two to look each other in the eye, say ‘I’m sorry’ and then other say ‘I forgive you.’”

They hate that part, but it usually settles the argument and life goes on as before. Even if they don’t mean it, the mere words “I forgive you” end the dispute.

I cannot count the number of similar conversations I have daily like this. The beautiful part is that childhood disputes *usually* are that simple. A fight, some words are tossed, an apology, and back to playing like normal.

I don’t know when adulthood-sized arguments start to work their way into life. The drama is amped up, the injuries more severe, the grudges held longer, the wounds are deepened, and the reconciling conversations are held off for days, months, years… if ever at all. Maybe it’s the absence of a grand ‘mom’ figure in the picture to put us back in line. Or maybe in our maturity we toss off the need to be held accountable to a ‘higher power’ like mom who would normally step in. Maybe we grow more stubborn in our ways and master the art of revenge and quiet stewing.

But I do know forgiveness still isn’t an option. As adults, we are accountable to Christ who commands us, “Forgive as you are forgiven.” It’s a serious offense.

I, Leah, in all my detestable ways of sinning and turning away from God… have been FORGIVEN.  No drama, no grudge, no revenge. No stewing in the corner or years of silence.  Freely offered by a loving God.

Wounds run deep but, I believe in the restorative power and grace of God—for even the deepest wounds and most egregious offenses.  Just say it. “I forgive you.” Even if you don’t mean it. Say it again. “I forgive you.” Every time you are reminded of the hurt. “I forgive you” again and again and again until it becomes easier.  1x, 7x, 70×7 times….

Leah Carolan
Director of Worship & Media

 

Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry, or learn something new?  Let Leah know.

    Cedar Chips

    Forgiveness Through Jesus’ Work

    Forgiveness Through Jesus’ Work

    In high school I spent many hours late into the night with my good friends Drew and David. We had fun getting into and escaping trouble together. Sometimes Drew drove the getaway car, other times I did. David hardly ever drove. Because we spent so much time together, my parents considered them brothers of mine.

    In college it continued and we started venturing into the world. I met Lindsey and Drew seemed happy for me but I know he was wanting to find his special lady, too. When I asked Lindsey to marry me, she tasked me with finding six groomsmen! David accepted the best man role, but I didn’t hear back from Drew. As the wedding drew near, he declined stating that he wouldn’t be able to make it. It hurt, but we were wrapped up in plans and I had to find another friend to stand in.

    Later in life he revealed to me he’d become addicted to heavy drug use and didn’t want to pay for the tux. Now he was in a 12-step rehab program, confessing much worse offenses than this. The best part however was he had found Jesus! I was so glad to hear this and was happy to forgive him. At that point I had recently come back to my faith. If I hadn’t known forgiveness through Jesus’ work, I may have “forgiven” him out loud, but perhaps not truly “in my heart.” He’s since gotten married and we were able to attend and send him off to California a few years back.

    Karl Ungs
    Leader of Parenting Together

     

    Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Lindsey know.

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      When Tired, Take a Nap

      When Tired, Take a Nap

      I’m wired for self-critique, judgment, and condemnation. I’m not sure why, but I am hard on myself. One evidence of this is a denial of my need for rest. The tape playing in my head tells me, ” can keep going, push a little more, don’t quit yet.”

      If you phone me early in the morning, rouse me from a deep sleep, and then ask, “Did I wake you?” My knee-jerk reaction would be, “No, I’m awake.” Ditto if you catch me napping. Just resting my eyes.

      Truth is, I get tired. Sometimes very tired. And that makes me normal. One of my favorite verses in the last couple of exhausting years has been Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

      I’ve been seeking rest recently from the burden of self-condemnation. We are the kind of people who believe in forgiveness. The most difficult person to forgive can be ourselves.

      We are also the kind of people called to love our neighbors as ourselves. My mentor Ray always reminded me that we can not love our neighbors boldly until we love ourselves properly. Proper self-love is free from self-condemnation and shame.

      The path to forgiveness for many of us begins with recognizing that we are far more loved – even in our brokenness – than we ever realized. We are forgiven. If God forgives us then we should feel free to forgive ourselves and that should lighten our burden.

      So, when tired, take a nap.

      Kent Landhuis
      Pastor of Teaching & Leadership

      Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Kent know.

        Cedar Chips, September 2021 Chips

        Authenticity Precipitates Sanctification

        Authenticity Precipitates Sanctification

        Once a week my family meets with three other families in someone’s home. We all eat and catch up and tell jokes. After dinner the kids loudly play in the basement while the adults circle around to discuss life and faith. We have a chosen curriculum we are following, though that will change with the seasons. It’s in this small group that we wrestle with how to live out our faith given life’s circumstances. We all face challenges on a weekly basis that make us wonder how to walk by faith as we move towards the chaos. Together we discuss how to accomplish this.

        Each of us is at a different place in our faith journey. Some of us are mature believers. Others are brand new to their faith. It’s in these conversations (and prayers) that we are crafting the next steps: What to do at work or with a family member, how to approach someone with a loving attitude, and how to live with both truth and grace.

        It’s in these conversations that we slowly learn to trust each other. Here as the trust is built, the conversation becomes more vulnerable. It’s because of this authenticity that heart matters are shared and believers can encourage and give guidance in the things that really matter. Authenticity is the pathway that allows the sanctification process to move forward. The process of moving towards holiness is our desire. Living life in authentic community is the way to live out the gospel.

        Lindsey Ungs
        Connection & Communication Architect

        Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Lindsey know.

          Cedar Chips, September 2021 Chips

          A True Soul-Friend

          A True Soul-Friend

          Authenticity is at the heart of our current teaching series, LIFE TOGETHER. I want to share with you a story from The Walk by Michael Card. Michael had been going through a difficult time having recently broken up with his girlfriend. One Monday morning, Michael’s mentor, Bill invites him out for breakfast. After they are seated Bill makes a bold but loving statement:

          “I’m worried about you, Michael. This is perhaps the third young woman you have dated since we’ve known each other and now you’re breaking up again. I’m concerned about your ability to sustain a relationship.”

          Wow! That is being authentic about your concerns for a friend. Also, being bold enough to say it, even if you know they might have difficulty receiving such truth. Michael goes on to explain that out of his own immaturity he responded:

          “How can you say that to me! After all, you are divorced. At least I never did that!”

          Ouch! Burn! Michael shares this story in his book so that we could all see Bill’s response:

          Bill grew quiet. He had risked genuinely loving me and, like so many others, I had hurt him for it. “Worked at that relationship as hard as I could for as long as I could.” He said, almost in tears, and there the discussion ended. Anyone else would have decided, at this point, that walking with someone like me was not worth the trouble. Not Bill. As best I remember, he never brought up the subject again. A few months before his death, I recalled the incident and asked for his forgiveness. It was obvious from his response that he had forgiven me long ago, although I could tell he still remembered the sting of it. All that remained, he said, was for me to forgive myself.

          Authenticity opens us all up to pain. The pain we experience when someone lashes out at us, reminding us of our biggest regrets or mistakes or when someone weaponizes our honesty against us as Michael did. The hurt we experience when someone breaks our trust. However, real, deep and lasting relationships are built on authentically sharing our lives with each other. I hope you are as encouraged and challenged as I am by this story. Michael Card ends the chapter by saying:

          A true soul-friend is willing to endure the inevitable pain that is caused by being in a relationship with another human being. “We are fragile and fallen people,” Bill would say. “Often we hurt each other.”

          Who are those people in your life who know you authentically and can speak the truth in love to you the way Bill did?  Who in your life needs you to be their “Bill”?

          Steve Poole
          Director of Youth & Young Adults

          What did you think of this article? Let us know.

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            Be Real

            Be Real

            One of the speakers at this year’s Global Leadership Summit started his talk by asking, “Can I just be real with you?” I’d never heard of this person before but I was immediately intrigued.

            Shola Richards then explained that many of his good ideas came from his mother. She taught him, “There are two kinds of people in the world, those who you feel good about when they walk into the room; and those who you feel good about when they walk out of the room.”

            Shola went on to teach, in simple terms, about civility which couldn’t be a more timely subject to explore. He challenged us to leave a legacy of civility and respect by valuing the people around us. Value the ideas, the roles, the time, the skills and the humanity of people. Be real, let others be real, and be curious.

            I wanted to shout “Amen” in the middle of Shola’s lecture. We are the kind of people who are real and who respect others. Life together requires civility. There is no way to get civility without spending time together.

            We will practice being real and being civil this fall with a church wide study. This is an opportunity for you to experience life together. If you are not yet part of a small group, click here.  We will feel good when you walk into the room!!

            Be real,

            Kent Landhuis
            Pastor of Teaching & Leadership

            Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry or learn something new? Let Kent know.

              Cedar Chips, September 2021 Chips

              French Fries, Root Beer, Monkeys, and Management

              French Fries, Root Beer, Monkeys, and Management

              The other day I met with another mom trying to get to know some of the families in our kids’ school. We took our kids to the trampoline park and then headed out to lunch. Four boys total ranging in age from four to eight years.

              I’ll admit, I don’t really like taking my kids out in public, especially when I’m outnumbered.  It’s kind of like herding wild sheep. They do great one-on-one, or even just two, but all three at once? (What in the world will I do when the 4th arrives in December!!!) Things go a little crazy, but especially when lunch is delayed.  Everyone is crazy hungry and that napping hour is already upon us.

              This mom I was with has much more experience than I do at the parenting game. Her youngest is eight and her oldest children are out of the house, married and have kids of their own. She’s a pro.

              When things started to wind out of control, (picture fries being spilled and scattered, an entire root beer spilled on the floor and a monkey of a four-year-old climbing over all the seating with lots of hooting and hollering and crying in between) we were reprimanded by the management and asked to be quiet. My greatest fears of being out in public with my kids came to life.

              Why my kids? Why now? Why, why, why when I was trying so hard to break out of my introvert shell and make a new and much-needed friend?

              Instead of reacting, she calmly continued talking to me, seemingly oblivious to the noise and the chaos. She was unfazed by the reprimand from management. I can only wonder what was going through her head, but it didn’t matter. In that moment, she didn’t judge my parenting or lack of child-herding skills. Instead, she recalled stories of when her many kids were younger and the noise and the chaos. She was exactly the friend I needed.

              As much as I felt like a screw-up of a parent that day, it meant the world to me to be so fully accepted and understood in those few moments and to find a friend not alarmed by the true mess of my life.

              As we move forward in authenticity as a church, I pray that we all can find such a friend and fellow believers who accept us, understand us, and stir us in faith in those tough moments when our best selves are not on display.

              Leah Carolan
              Director of Worship & Media

               

              Did you enjoy this article? Did you laugh, cry, or learn something new?  Let Leah know.

                August 2021, Cedar Chips

                We Do the Caring and God Does the Healing

                We Do the Caring and God Does the Healing

                Here at Cedar Hills we believe hospitality is a core characteristic of how we live out the gospel. In “The Simplest Way to Change the World,” Dustin Willis and Brandon Clements describe the power of gospel hospitality this way:

                “Grasping that hospitality is a meaningful way that we care for spiritually sick people is why we do this, and it will be the lasting power we need to make this a way of life. Because ultimately the end goal of hospitality is care and healing – we do the caring and Jesus does the healing.”

                If I’m honest, practicing authenticity, I struggle sometimes with hospitality. For example, the other night when I got home from running some errands my neighbors were out chatting across the street. I looked out the window, thought about going over, but then accepted the excuse that I didn’t have the emotional energy to go over and care for my neighbors. I was tired and not in the mood. I realized, as I reflected on this quote from Dustin and Brandon, that I sometimes feel like I not only have to do the caring, but I feel responsible for the healing. I choose not to care because I feel inadequate. I know they have brokenness and hurt (like all of us), and I don’t feel strong enough to help them. Today I am challenged that all I need to do is just listen, and trust God to do the healing. As I reflect on this truth I am encouraged. I feel like I can answer the Facebook message with kind hospitality, because I don’t have to have the answers. I don’t have to carry their burdens.  God just needs me to listen and care. I can simply be there for those who need relationships, and rely on God to provide the wisdom and strength to bring healing when and how He wills. God commands us to show hospitality in Hebrew 13:1-2.

                “Let brotherly love continue. Don’t neglect to show hospitality, for by doing this some have welcomed angels as guests without knowing it.”

                Brothers and sisters, let’s be encouraged today. Let us not neglect to show hospitality to our coworkers and neighbors.

                God help us to choose to show hospitality. Give us the strength to enter into the messiness of each other’s lives, knowing that YOU bring the healing as we simply care. Amen!

                Steve Poole
                Director of Youth & Young Adults

                What did you think of this article? Let Steve know.

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                  Investing in the Lives of Others

                  Investing in the Lives of Others

                  What mental images emerge when you are presented with passages that encourage hospitality? Hospitality can come in many forms and expressions. As Christians we are called to practice biblical hospitality and practice it with joy! Some Scripture examples are:

                  “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” ~ Romans 12:13.

                  “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” ~ Hebrews 13:2.

                  “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.” ~ 1 Peter 4:9.

                  In a practical sense, hospitality is about investing in other’s lives and learning how you can best serve those around you.

                  In this month’s article, I am going to briefly highlight three examples of excellent hospitality that I have witnessed over the last few months.  These people are not aware that I am using them as examples, but I am going to point out their positive examples anyway.

                  My first positive example is Jan and Alan Crandall. If you have attended Cedar Hills for a while, you have most likely been invited to the Crandall’s home for a meal or some sort of gathering. Alan and Jan make a point to intentionally invite people into their home, usually at least one time a week (and that is low-balling it!). Many reading this can attest to experiencing the Crandall’s wonderful hospitality and being made to feel like you are the most important person in the world.

                  My second positive example is Lore and Shanna Swartzendruber and Deveri Johnson. Last May we were in a Saturate Group with Deveri, Lore, and Shanna. There was a large group that met at the church on Monday evenings. Eventually, smaller groups broke off and met in individual homes. Deveri was always willing to have that meeting at her home and she has a gift of making her guests feel welcome. The Swartzendrubers’ also seemed excited about inviting people into their activities. They were going camping during a holiday weekend that extended into Monday and they insisted that the group come to their campsite and join them.  This has led to an open invite of having the group and anyone else join them for dinner every Monday night. This is a great informal time of fellowship, loud laughter, and people not leaving until well after mid-night. Something special is happening at that meeting. People feel welcome and free to be themselves and the Holy Spirit is doing the work. The freedom and love that the Swartzendrubers’ encourage is apparent.

                  My third example is the food pantry crew led by Darlene Devries. Recently the food pantry had to undergo a routine inspection, which was passed with flying colors. The inspector told Darlene that everything was great. What really impressed the inspector was the spirit of hospitality. The people who use the pantry’s services reported that ours was the friendliest. It was also the one where they felt the most cared for. The pantry volunteers exhibited joy and excellent service to the pantry patrons. Jesus is using the hospitality of the food pantry to act as His loving hands in this community.

                  There are many more examples of excellent hospitality going on within our midst. We are the kind of people who make it a habit to be hospitable to others and one another.

                  Gary Sager
                  Ambassador of Care

                  Did you enjoy this article? Let Gary know.

                    August 2021, Cedar Chips

                    Planting Seeds of Hospitality

                    Planting Seeds of Hospitality

                    Hospitality has been extended to me and I’d like to describe it to you.

                    Imagine sitting in a garden surrounded by beauty. Everywhere you look there is a new type of flower or plant to take in. Also, in this garden is a flowing waterfall with ponds that reflect the setting sun. The sound of it is relaxing and draws you in.

                    Beside you is a friend. A person that wants to listen and hear what’s on your heart. A friend that has made time for you. They are happy to listen and encourage you on your journey. This friend both affirms you and provides direction as needed.

                    This setting exists. It exists in the front and backyard of the Landhuis house. I find myself drawn in, cared for, listened to, affirmed, and receiving wisdom whenever I go there.

                    This is a picture of hospitality. The kind of offering we can provide to others. For some the setting will be a bustling coffee shop or a front porch restoration project. For others a simple walk in the park will give the encouragement needed to get through another day.

                    At Cedar Hills we are the kind of people that offer hospitality using whatever gifts have been made available to us.

                    Lindsey Ungs
                    Connection & Communication Architect

                    Did you enjoy this article? Let Lindsey know.